STUCK.....

Okay, so I guess it has to happen to every pregnant woman at least once (and if it doesn't, please don't tell me that). The other night, I got.....STUCK. Sit back, relax, and listen to the tale my friends....

It all started around 2:15 am....I was just orchestrating one of my famous three point turns (who am I kidding, it is now more like a 5 point turn, anyhoo) when I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom...again. Now, for some reason I was more in the middle of the bed than usual, which presented a problem for me. My three point turn had headed me into the right direction, but I was very far from the edge of the bed. So, I did what any normal person would do, I tried to sit up and swing my legs off the bed. Well, that didn't quite work, I couldn't sit up. The weight of my belly kept pushing me back down and the covers certainly weren't helping matters any. So, I push of the covers and try again...nothing doing. So, I try to wiggle my way to the side so that I can merely slide off the side of the bed. Nope, that didn't work, my PJ's were causing too much friction against the sheets, I wasn't going anywhere.

So, now we stop and I ask you to think of a beached whale. there the whale is, sinking into the sand, the water so close it can almost reach it. The waves taunting it, coming sooo close. The whale starts to wiggle, starts to grunt, starts to move in the direction of the water.....but as we know, there only hope for the whale is a human rescue.....

I turn to my husband, sure that all of my grunting, wiggling, and general weeble-wobbling for sure has woken him up. He will save me, he will give me the extra push I need.....nope....he is snoring away. So, I try again, this time feeling like humpty-dumpty. I wiggle, I stretch, I try to sit up, I....pull my back. Lovely, why couldn't I just fall off the bed like Humpty? Eventually, painfully, I make it to the edge and off to the bathroom.

Of course when I get back, I can't sleep because I have now pulled my back and been awake for like 10 hours! My knight in shining armor finally wakes up, only because by now I am huffing and puffing like a dragon and I am just a bit ticked off. After hearing my story of woe, the first thing he says is "do you want to try sleeping in another bed?" Oh WRONG thing to say at that point. The huffing and puffing continues and I am sure smoke starts coming out of my nose...he jumps out of bed, grabs the bastard (our friendly name for the body sized pillow that takes up half the bed), iserts it into bed, props up another pillow for me and rubs my back. Yes, now that was the ticket. It still took me about 45 min to finally go back to sleep, but sleep finally came. Unfortunately, I dreamt about Humpty-dumpty and life sized weeble-woobles...go figure.