Marcus wondered today if I was EVER going to update the blog. never mind that I have asked him a few times if he wanted to make a post.... but I guess my fans do want more, so I have decided to use my precious few moments of silence that I would normally use to take a shower, to make a new posting for all of you to enjoy. We will simply call this one the list. What kind of list you ask? Well, of course a list of things I NEVER knew before I had a baby.
The List
1. Throw up from a baby can be gravity defying. In fact, it can come out of the baby's mouth, skip over the matress and fly out between the cradle bars before ever starting its descent towards earth.
2. Poop and mud are from the same family...I swear...it may look like mustard, but I am sure it is mud.
3. A 10 minute shower when someone else is here to watch the baby is a LUXURY! Likewise, I never knew I could get so much done in 5 min in the shower. But, word to the wise...when showering in a rush, make sure NOT to use the body wash for shampoo. Body wash does NOT condition the hair and leaves a slimy residue.
4. Track suits are the new Seven jeans and will soon be featured as the hottest thing for fall in Glamour magazine. hmmm, well I can always dream that I am in fashion right?
5. Formula does in fact, NOT have milk in it, and it smells nasty...but it smells even worse the second time around when it is plastered on your shirt like a new cologne.
6. Boys may have the correct parts for shooting out their "liquid waste" but girls can do it just as well! (that song, anything you can do, I can do better comes to mind)
7. Just when you think you know what each cry is, they all start to sound the same. A screaming banshee wail might mean, "I am hungry, wet, tired, or I just want to drive you insane because I can." And of course, I run all over the house trying new things to make her happy and it isn't until I have done them at least twice that she decides which cry she was going for.
8. That my body is no longer the temple it once was. (now we all know that is funny in itself) It is now stretched, poofed and perfect for those daily naps that just can't be done in the crib.
9. That my house being dirty wouldn't bother me.... oops, wait, it still does.
10. That the days would pass so quickly and my baby change so much overnight. That I would feel such an overwhelming love for such a small human being. That I would do anything at all for her and want only the best for her. That I would love being a mom and that dealing with all of the above are really just a blessing, not a curse. That I would not want to do anything else in the world, even when I am so tired I want to fall over, or I am so frustrated I want to cry. Okay, so that one was a long one, but so true, so true.
1. Throw up from a baby can be gravity defying. In fact, it can come out of the baby's mouth, skip over the matress and fly out between the cradle bars before ever starting its descent towards earth.
2. Poop and mud are from the same family...I swear...it may look like mustard, but I am sure it is mud.
3. A 10 minute shower when someone else is here to watch the baby is a LUXURY! Likewise, I never knew I could get so much done in 5 min in the shower. But, word to the wise...when showering in a rush, make sure NOT to use the body wash for shampoo. Body wash does NOT condition the hair and leaves a slimy residue.
4. Track suits are the new Seven jeans and will soon be featured as the hottest thing for fall in Glamour magazine. hmmm, well I can always dream that I am in fashion right?
5. Formula does in fact, NOT have milk in it, and it smells nasty...but it smells even worse the second time around when it is plastered on your shirt like a new cologne.
6. Boys may have the correct parts for shooting out their "liquid waste" but girls can do it just as well! (that song, anything you can do, I can do better comes to mind)
7. Just when you think you know what each cry is, they all start to sound the same. A screaming banshee wail might mean, "I am hungry, wet, tired, or I just want to drive you insane because I can." And of course, I run all over the house trying new things to make her happy and it isn't until I have done them at least twice that she decides which cry she was going for.
8. That my body is no longer the temple it once was. (now we all know that is funny in itself) It is now stretched, poofed and perfect for those daily naps that just can't be done in the crib.
9. That my house being dirty wouldn't bother me.... oops, wait, it still does.
10. That the days would pass so quickly and my baby change so much overnight. That I would feel such an overwhelming love for such a small human being. That I would do anything at all for her and want only the best for her. That I would love being a mom and that dealing with all of the above are really just a blessing, not a curse. That I would not want to do anything else in the world, even when I am so tired I want to fall over, or I am so frustrated I want to cry. Okay, so that one was a long one, but so true, so true.
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